Dogs of America
December 6-29, 2017
It has come to our attention that there are not nearly enough dogs on this website to justify its namesake. Who titles their blog "Can We Pet Your Dog?" and then posts a bunch of pictures of rocks and water and food? It's not fair to the readers. It's not fair to us. It's not fair to the doggos.
Well this post aims to change that. We were able to spend several weeks in the Pacific Northwest for the holidays, and in that time we studied and chronicled every dog we came across.
These are the Dogs of America.
Keela
Keela is the Kirb family dog, and oh my goodness, she is such a floof. For Kirb's entire life they have only ever had Shelties, and for his mom's entire life, so has she. Keela is old and deaf now, so she doesn't bark when the phone rings anymore. When she gets excited she runs around in circles REAL FAST again and again. She generally prefers to hang out outside, even when it's snowing, most likely because she is such a floof that she's too warm inside in that big dog sweater. It might also be because she doesn't like our family very much. Her breath is terrible. She will sit near you but never next to you. If you try to pet her she will turn around and present you with her bottom. That is where you may pet her.
Mona
There are few dogs that want and appreciate your attention more than Mona. Ever since Kirb's brother and brotherwife had kids and had to start paying more attention to them than the dog, one might assume Mona is the most attention-starved creature on the planet based on how much she responds if you start petting her. One touch and she's on her back trying to wrap her paws around your hand so you can't take it away. She's a big, lovable, clumsy doof that is constantly knocking things over with her tail, which pretty much never stops wagging. She was able to completely annihilate a "K9 Tuff Guard" dog toy that she got for Christmas in about 5 minutes.
Kevin
Kevin is a very special boy. He snores while he's awake, and after several years on this earth he still screams at his reflection when he catches it in the sliding glass door. He had to wear an inflatable donut while we were visiting his mom Sarah because he had a pimple on his nose and he wouldn't leave it alone. If Kevin sees a pinecone he will eat it and then immediately barf it back up. Staring into Kevin's eyes is to stare into the void. When mankind is finally forced to reckon with its sins against nature, selectively breeding dog traits to create the Pug will be among the long list of crimes.
Lucy
Anyone who thinks pit bulls are inherently mean or aggressive dogs clearly have not spent enough time hanging out with pit bulls. When Kirb slept on Endless Mike and Anna Bannaberg's floor after their housewarming party he quickly became friends with Lucy, who was also spending the night. She is one of those larger dogs that doesn't realize it's not a lap dog and sits in your lap anyway. Lucy was fond of chasing after the ping pong balls that went astray from the beer pong table but she didn't crush them (except one). In the morning, she sat contentedly on Kirb's sleeping bag for a half hour or so and he contentedly pet her until everyone else got up.
Alma Sue and Adeline
Whatever Boston Terriers lack in intellect they more than make up in energy, and believe you me, they lack pretty much all of the intellect. These little monsters belong to our friend D in Portland, and we get to share the living room sofa bed with them when we crash there. They find the negative space between our bodies and place their bodies in that space, which is pretty much the only time they stay still. Everyone likes snuggles. Otherwise, they are perpetual motion machines that defy the laws of thermodynamics.
Betty
When our friends Lindsey and Aaron went to the pound to get a dog, they assumed they were going to get a big dog, and then they came home with Betty. She has mastered the "puppy dog eyes" trick. She always looks so helpless and adorable, and with one second of eye contact you give in and start petting her. Once you start, there is no ending. Betty likes to get up reeeaaaal close to your face. Betty would live inside of your mouth if she could. Do not open up your mouth when Betty is near.
Murphy
Murphy is a real thiccboi. Uncle Gary and Aunt Chris used to have a dog named Reggie, who was half Dachshund and half Pug. When Reggie passed unexpectedly, they decided they wanted another of the same mix, and got Murphy. They couldn't tell from the puppies, but when Murph got older it became clear he was not the same type of dog. Somehow, against God and all common sense, the Pug mom had gotten herself knocked up by a German Shepherd. Though Murphy is a proportionally confusing dog, Gary and Chris don't really mind that he's not what they signed up for. He's about as nice as dogs get. And he looks so dashing in a bow tie!
A Random Corgi in Portland, OR
At this point, we've been living in Germany for almost three years, and we can count the number of corgis we've seen here on one hand. You might have been able to tell by our logo, but we really like corgis, and it saddens us that we are now deprived of the thrill of unexpectedly seeing them in public. In Seattle we used to be able to gauge how good our day was going to be by how many corgis we saw. A three-corgi day meant it was time to get to the corner store and buy some lottery tickets. We were in Portland for like, one day before we came across a corgi in the wild. Kirb pet him while Mazz was looking at some fancy rocks and then his mom took him away and Mazz was sad she didn't get in on it.
AMERICAN DOG HALL OF FAME
Edison
Edison is probably the best dog in the entire world, but we didn't get a chance to see him while we were in Seattle because his dad is probably the worst at making and keeping plans. That can't be held against Edison though, and we were sad we didn't get to give him a big snug. He gets included on this list anyway because we love him so much. Also, Kirb was there when he jumped that creek in the photo, and it was amazing.
Meatcliff
Meatcliff was the first corgi Kirb ever got to know. Ol' Meaty once rode on Kirb's lap for two straight days on a road trip between Seattle and Joshua Tree, and from then on their bond was strong. He accompanied us on several adventures, and was always a trusty sidekick. Sadly, Meatcliff reached the end of his long and fruitful life while we were home visiting. He will be remembered with nothing but love.