June 9-27, 2023

The summers in the Pacific Northwest are as fine as you will find anywhere in the world. We’re always looking to come home this time of year and in 2023 we had a perfectly good excuse: Kirb was turning 40 the same week his mom turned 70. We started planning the joint birthday bash months in advance and booked plane tickets home for three long weeks in June.

Our goal was to enjoy as much PNW nature as we could and hope for pleasant weather. Historically, it usually doesn’t get nice in this part of the world until after the 4th of July, but climate change has had its way on most preconceived notions about the weather, and now the Northwest can get scorching hot before the kids are even out on summer break. Thankfully, our forecast was dry and mild, so we borrowed some camping gear from friends and set off for the wilderness after a few days of visiting with our favorite people and adjusting to jetlag.

Showing off our two-person sleeping pad naturally transitions into a cuddle puddle with Cream and Emmett

Some really fantastic Vietnamese seafood boil at Dragon’s Crawfish in Tacoma, WA

Nate and Anna’s piano recital in their teacher’s backyard

The Washington Coast

On the way to Third Beach, Mazz proclaimed, “I want to see a big tree.” Kirb typed “big tree” into google maps and, lo and behold, the largest spruce tree in the world was only a few miles down the road. It was a wise old tree, now in sole possession of its title since the other largest spruce tree in Oregon (shorter but wider) died in 2007. We picked tart, unripe salmonberries along the trail and forest-bathed in the tapestry of green mosses and ferns. Then we ate some tacos and felt truly grateful to be back in the place where we were formed.

The majestically mossy forests of the Pacific Northwest

At least 50% of the meals we ate in America on this trip were tacos, usually breakfast tacos prepared by ourselves

Uncle Sean had gotten us overnight passes to stay at the beach in La Push, on native land within Olympic National Park. It’s a flat, 30-minute walk through towering evergreens to get from the parking lot to the beach, where we found only a few day hikers and overnighters on the isolated shoreline. Uncle Sean had already snagged us the best spot on the beach, next to a huge toppled tree that blocked the wind and provided comfortable places to sit. There are few things more comforting to us than completing camp chores as the sun slowly fades on a coastal beach. Giddily, we gathered firewood and built up a makeshift living room around the felled tree in the sand.

We’ve got the whole beach mostly to ourselves

Our campsite built around a huge tree root that gives us seating and protection from the wind

Camp chores. Kirb seems to have a real sturdy hold on his armful of firewood

The tide comes in surprisingly far at night

In the morning, we woke to gray, overcast skies and a slight chill, just enough to choose pants over shorts. We learned that the privy for this beach was situated on the other side of a precarious field of driftwood. Once you traverse the unstable logs, you must pass straight uphill through overgrown brush soaked in morning dew, then you find the wooden toilet shack overlooking the sea. It is a glorious place to do your business, but hard-earned.

Climbing across a field of driftwood logs for a well-earned poop

We scour the surrounding areas early in the morning to add to our already-sizable stack of firewood

Today was Kirb’s proper 40th birthday, so we filled it with all of his favorite things. After a morning of beach exploration and more soothing camp chores, we hiked back to the parking lot and picked up supplies from the cooler in our car. The sun broke through the clouds and we spent the afternoon playing frisbee in the surf, drinking some of our favorite wine, snacking on taffy, and building the perfect fire. Fortuitously, at some point a thick, heavy metal grill had been dragged down to the beach, so we grabbed it from an empty campsite and lugged it back to ours. We’d brought along a tiny little camp grill and were glad that we did, as it provided a clean cooking space over the heavily-rusted grate. We’d picked up two huge, grass-fed ribeyes at the North West butcher shop in Olympia and somehow managed to cook them to perfection over the campfire. Kirb couldn’t have asked for a better 40th birthday.

The birthday boy, doing what he enjoys most: playing outside. We found some bear scat up on that hill to the left

Fancy-pants natural wine cooled in the crick

Our first experience with “fireweed.” It’s pretty delicious, but once we had downed most of the bag we realized the flavor was like 90% artificial cherry

Mazz became a beach engineer and spent hours trying to fashion a completely stable driftwood bench

Searing up some ribeyes on the beach fire

Perfectly cooking an expensive piece of meat over an open flame is immensely satisfying

We’d have happily camped on Third Beach for several more days, but there were lots of lovely people we wanted to see back in town. Even if it gets a bit rainy in these parts, we prefer being outdoors as much as possible in the summertime, so we tried to hang out with friends in the beautiful areas around the Puget Sound to maximize enjoyment. Sarah, the true Friendship MVP of this trip home, came to visit us twice from Spokane, once driving and once flying. She joined us for a rainy stroll through the Billy Frank Jr. Nisqually National Wildlife Refuge, which in addition to being a great place to walk around has the added benefit of being located just down the road from Kirb’s parents. This area has miles of raised walkways that guide you through the woods and over open water where fresh water meets seawater, creating a unique and flourishing environment for wildlife. We certainly saw a lot of birds.

Surprisingly, this was one of the only times we got rained on while playing outside on our entire trip

Motherboy 70|40

Mazz joked that providing Kirb’s mom with a big party to plan was probably better than any physical birthday gift he could give her; the woman thrives as an organizer. But Motherboy was not your average party. It was the intergenerational birthday bash of the millennium. There are a lot of logistics that go into planning a fun gathering for ages 0 to infinity, and thus a lot of strong opinions on what the execution should entail from both mother and boy. One thing was for sure: there were going to be matching outfits. The middle ground we found was fun for everyone: We rented a beautiful old lodge in a public park in Tacoma, cousin Dom catered it with tacos, cousins Whitney and Josh hooked up the booze, and there was a remarkable assortment and quantity of cookies on display. Kirb insisted that the venue have a grassy area where he could drink beer and play lawn games with his friends, but in reality, that area just ended up being the playpen for the children and he found time to play one game of cornhole during the entire party. At least it kept the little ones occupied while the adults drank.

Lauren really went all out on the cookies and it showed

Three generations of friends and family eating tacos together under one roof

Kirb hadn’t seen his friend Rebecca (left) in over a decade! They’ve known each other since they were twelve

With seemingly no effort, Naomi channels her inner “Shining”

Cousin Shannon’s kids absolutely demolished that brand new Smash Net game

Kirb used to live in a house with these two in college and it was as filthy as you might imagine. Even filthier, maybe

Falconer came up from Oregon and Becky and Brian came from California. Motherboy was a *destination*

Never one to let his sister have the spotlight, Gary brings an adorable puppy in a baby bjorn to her 70th birthday party

It wouldn’t be a celebration without Kirb’s favorite dog, Edison

The Huff family goes hard on the Motherboy cosplay in both Buster and Lucille-themed outfits

Both Kirb and Lauren had a fantastic time at Motherboy, with the same caveat: It went by so fast and there were so many family members and friends (well over a hundred) that when the party was over it felt like some guests didn’t get any attention at all. Still, it was amazing to see so many beloved humans together in one place, gathered for what some participants called “a weird wedding between family members.”

Ben and Missy’s daughter Lemmy wouldn’t let us take her photo, but she did make Lauren this adorable Motherboy birthday card

Post-party Father’s Day brunch before we hit the road for Oregon

The Oregon Coast

With some quality Washington time under our belts, we headed south to meet up with Mazz’s people on the Oregon Coast. Her dad’s side of the family rents out a friend’s beach house every summer and, as luck would have it, we were in the States for this year’s meet-up. On the way down, we stopped at Camp 18 for lunch, a real taste of Northwest Americana on Highway 26 heading out to the ocean. This monument to early Oregon logging is constructed entirely from the surrounding old-growth forest, with a single 85-foot, 25-ton ridge pole running along the center of the roof. Camp 18 serves up rich, homey, and filling “logger-style meals” you just can’t get outside of country restaurants like this.

Rainy skies entering Oregon, but thankfully we are in the car all day

Antler chandeliers and all-wood everything: a fitting place to eat a huge bowl of beef stew and cornbread

Man who cuts down trees has statue of self carved out of cut-down tree

Camp 18 is also a museum and the grounds are littered with old logging relics

One of our favorite outdoor activities in the Northwest is razor clamming. We used to regularly take weekend trips to the coast to catch razor clams when we lived in Seattle, but we haven’t had the chance again since moving abroad in 2015. Luckily, Popzzio knew the best spot to go on the Oregon Coast, which unfortunately happened to be about an hour and a half up the coast from where we were staying in Pacific City. In Washington, it’s easy to catch your limit every time you go out, but the clams aren’t quite as plentiful in Oregon. Though none of us got close to our allotted 15, the razor clams we did catch were surprisingly big, and we returned home with ample seafood to share with the house full of hungry family members.

Supposedly, this is one of the only spots you can reliably find razor clams on the Oregon Coast

Popzzio promptly left the family gathering to go on a fishing trip with his friends

Brian is not afraid to get wet and dirty to find some clams

We almost gave up after a long stretch of not catching anything, but then we realized the clams were showing for just a split second in the tide and had to stand there as the water rushed by. We caught several more clams this way and ended the day on a positive note

Thanks to a few seasons with red tide where no one was able to clam, these guys were left alone and turned into real chonkers

Clark and Madeline at the taffy store, the most vital establishment in any small, coastal town

A traditional family dinner of spaghetti followed by plate after plate of fried razor clams

It’s remarkably easy to find a trail in this area that will lead you through lush forest along the coastline. With sunny skies above, we hiked the Cape Lookout trail and were rewarded with a fun, sweaty hike through some gorgeous nature. After cooking up a killer pot of razor clam chowder, the whole fam walked down to the beach for a sweeping pink and purple sunset. The Oregon Coast doesn’t get much better than this.

Looking back down the beach toward Pacific City

The end of the trail takes you right along the side of the cliff

It’s been nearly a decade since we’ve been able make chowder with clams we caught ourselves but we haven’t lost a step This chowder was bangin’

Usually quiet and reserved, Max comes to life when it’s time to chase a tennis ball on the beach

This area is built up for tourism much more than the Washington Coast, which is wilder and has significantly less going on in its small towns. The Oregon Coast has plenty of upscale seafood joints, like Jandy Oyster Co, where we stopped with Becky and Brian for shrimp cocktails and fried oyster po boys. But it also has its share of run-down businesses and visual economic depression. We chuckled for days over a weather-worn Shilo Inn sign in Tillamook that read: “MY BOLOGNA HAS A...RESTAURANT FOR LEASE,” with parts of the vinyl heavily stained, torn, and drooping shabbily.

Mazz orders a particularly chunky Blood Mary

The trick when you’re in this neck of the woods is to try and find old, cozy haunts that have been properly cared for over the years, and that was exactly what we got at our next beach house. Passed down through the generations of our friend Falconer’s family, their beach house is situated right on the waterfront with an unencumbered view of Rockaway Beach’s signature twin rocks. There’s the house they rent as well as a smaller one next door where they stay themselves, so Falconer was our neighbor for a few days; our very own Kramer popping in unexpectedly through the screen door to tell us about a dream she had where animals were biting her elbow. At this beach house, we were staying with Mazz’s mom and her partner Ron, who flew out to join us from Arizona. We were also joined by Hannah, a friend of Becky’s who was on a country-wide road trip and had never been to the Oregon Coast. After failing to catch any razor clams on the beaches closer to home, Brian decided to go dig around in some mud flats and found himself a cache of purple mahogany clams. With some fastidious cleaning, we turned those clams into a beautiful pasta with Italian sausage, white wine, and lots of butter. There’s something particularly fun about catching, preparing, and eating your own food, and the beaches of the Northwest are the only place we know how to do that sort of thing. The result is always delicious.

Brian checks out a flock of pelicans on Rockaway Beach. Up close, those are some BIG bids

Family dinner at the Falconer beach house

Another night, another sunset stroll on the beach

This area was also full of good hiking trails, so we grabbed Falconer from next door and took off for the appropriately-named “Cape Falcon” trail in Oswald West State Park. Though this one wasn’t quite as demanding as our first hike along the coast, its views were just as grand. Before looping back to the parking lot, the trail takes you to Short Sand Beach, one of the most beautiful we’ve seen on the Pacific Coast. So beautiful, in fact, that cousin Clark and his fiancée Madeline decided to get married there in the fall.

Hard hikes are fun, but we also appreciate a nice, easy trail through beautiful places

After we took this picture, a guy on the trail said, “You think that’s the best spot, but it gets even better!” He was wrong. This was the best spot for the picture

Kirb stood on a teetering log and it slammed down onto the ground and completely splattered Falconer in mud, ruining her new workout shirt from Dollar General. She wasn’t mad

Oswald West State Park is a real beautiful place

It’s nice to see people and celebrate the holidays when we come home for Christmas, but those trips are usually pretty stressful. Getting an entire week to relax on the Oregon Coast with our family was a best-case scenario for spending time with the people we love. We grilled steaks, consumed copious amounts of taffy and sparkling water, made an enormous beach fire, and spent afternoons meandering through cute shops looking for souvenirs. One night we went into town to get ice cream after dinner and as we were eating outside of the shop, we asked, “Where’s Ron?” Excited like a little kid, he had gotten two ice creams and then rushed into the car where he happily double-fisted his dessert. We decided that henceforth, Ron’s rap alias is “Two Cones.”

Not pictured: “Two Cones” double-fisting ice cream in the car like an absolute madman

Standing close to the enormous beach fire is the only way to stay warm on the very windy beach

Rockaway Beach claims to be the birthplace of the corndog, so one morning after a short walk to another big tree, we decided to have lunch at Pronto Pup. This place won us over at first sight. First, Kirb spotted the mechanical corn dog out front and felt unnaturally compelled to ride it. Then, coming inside, he saw that they sold a t-shirt proclaiming, “I Rode the Corndog” and obviously had to buy it. Mazz saw the yellow 70s-style beach hoodie that said, “Rockaway Beach - Home of the World’s Biggest Corndog” and had to have that too. Then we each ate two corndogs and tots and were incapacitated for the rest of the day. We really wished that we had just stuck to one corndog (or none) like a normal person. In the end, both of us rode the corndog that day.

She’s smiling now but that was too much fried food for one Mazz

There is an event that Kirb has pined over on the internet for years now called “Corgi Beach Day.” At this gathering, corgi owners from all across Oregon bring their pups to the beach and set them wild. Kirb very much wanted to see this, but never thought he would get the opportunity. Imagine his elation when he learned that Corgi Beach Day 2023 was being held just up the coast on our final day in Oregon. A flood of serotonin filled his body as he stepped out onto Seaside Beach and took in hundreds of frolicking corgis. Every time he bent over and held out his hand a new dog would come to say hello and receive a little pet before running off and playing again. Clark and Madeline came in from Portland to celebrate with their corgi Georgia, and their presence made us feel less like leering creeps and more like legitimate participants in the gathering. We deserved to be there. We came with a corgi.

A perfect little princess, posing in the surf

Everywhere you look, corgis are frolicking

Georgia zooms through a patch of sand dollars

This old girl was Kirb’s favorite dog he met: a half-corgi, half-shiba inu named Daisy who had no desire to play with any of the other dogs but was happy to be snuggled by strange humans

Georgia, Madeline, and Clark help us feel like “legitimate” participants at this most glorious of gatherings

The Puget Sound

Not done with the sand and surf, we left the Oregon Coast and headed straight to an island up in Washington. This was our last chance to visit Kirb’s dear old friend Siri and her husband Ali on gorgeous Vashon Island: they had just sold the property and were in the process of buying a live-in van to explore the country. Earlier that last year Siri had gotten kidney cancer, and she wasn’t the only one in her community who had gotten sick. She knew several other young, healthy people who had also developed serious cancers around the same time. Though Vashon is a stunningly beautiful place and an exceptionally cool small community, it seems to be where a lot of nasty chemicals have settled from the old smelters in Tacoma, and there is pretty clear evidence that it is making people who live there fatally sick. We loved visiting our friends on Vashon, but we’re glad they made the decision to leave once Siri was declared cancer free.

Crossing the bridge back in Washington from Astoria, OR

On Vashon, you can elect different animals to be Mayor

Morning beach hike with dolphins and seals

Like us, Siri and Ali also prefer to spend their summer days outdoors, and Vashon is a perfect place to do so. After a morning hike along the beach where we saw dolphins and seals, we slathered on sunscreen and took out paddleboards into the sound. Neither Kirb nor Mazz was confident enough to actually stand up on the things, but we enjoyed paddling them like canoes nonetheless. The highlight was tethering the four boards together with a cooler of tasty beverages and floating blissfully in the water and sunshine. Now that is an ideal way to hang out with your friends.

Magge and Greg host a final buddy BBQ at Steve’s Place

With departure looming, Kirb takes the opportunity to eat some classic PNW teriyaki. Did you know modern teriyaki was invented in Seattle? Kirb has eaten A LOT of teriyaki in his life and he always will

A final diner stop at Chance’s Pancake Corral in Bellevue. There aren’t a whole lot of these classic breakfast spots left in the Seattle suburbs

A Proper Family Photoshoot

We spent our final night at Kirb’s brother’s house with the entire family, then woke up early and headed to the Bellevue Botanical Gardens for Lauren’s 70th birthday present: a proper family photoshoot. Scott, Kristine, and the kids do one every year with the same photographer and her pictures always look amazing, so we snagged her one free day in late June and chose some lightly-coordinated, hopefully non-clashing outfits. Unsurprisingly, the pictures turned out great and Lauren got a present she can actually enjoy forever. Kirb had an idea for a good gag where we do one family shot in which he is inexplicably not wearing a shirt and everyone was game to humor him. Out of hundreds of photos, that’s the one Kirb’s mom likes best and is going to frame in her house. Go figure.

"I'll take the picture, but there's no way I'm putting a shirt on."

We had just enough time for one last stop at Chace’s Pancake Corral in Bellevue for a proper American diner breakfast before heading to the airport and flying back to Europe. This was the most pleasurable trip home we have had since moving to Germany. We got to enjoy just about everything we love best about the Northwest - people, things, and places - one after another after another. Three weeks doesn’t feel long enough when life’s a beach.